"Richard Yewtree here. NOTHING WAS PROVED! Joe Lycett let me post a message here on his website of woke nonsense. I insisted a Union Jack was flown even though it clashes with the colour scheme."

"I'm here to tell you about my new series, Richard Yewtree's Life Expectancy. I’ll be meeting some of the greatest living Britons, and finding out all about their lives and whether those lives live up to my expectations."

"Join me at the end of Part One of tonight's Late Night Lycett on Channel4.com from Saturday lunchtime!"