I’ve seen a lot of misinformation being spread around about pansexuality so I thought I’d explain it properly. Pansexuality is actually closely linked with the pangolin (made famous as the intermediary host of SARS-CoV2) and is actually nothing to do with gender or any of that woke stuff but mating rituals which are primarily to do with smell and are strictly seasonal. If someone tells you they are pansexual then make sure to look at their nostrils, particularly in late spring, because there’s a good chance they are sniffing around for a mate (at peak season they can pick up smells up to 80 miles away unless they have a sinus infection which they are prone to). Generally the smells they are attracted to are blueberry flavour disposable vapes, alpro soy milk (unsweetened), nail varnish remover and coins, but some really like chicken jalfrezi (NEVER, EVER put a lamb korma near a pansexual). I hope that clears things up xxxx

This painting features in the book Joe Lycett's Art Hole.